Algorithm of my life

Sandeep's log start date 04/21/08 ....... 

Like all intelligent people on this planet, I too like to blog (I rather call it logging than blogging). 

We all browse through profiles of friends and strangers on social networking sites like Facebook and Orkut. We read about their perception of life, we think a while and browse away ! somewhere deep inside we all have our own perception of life. Some say life is defined by what choices you make, frankly I too believed it for a while (I always thought I took the red pill from Matrix .. )  but then your choices are cumulation of your parents, relatives and friends choices too, wont they influence your choice ! some say life is a ocean, length can be measured not the depth ! there are so many opinions so many philosophies. One that really satisfies my curiosity (at-least for the time being ) was stated by Steve Jobs. During his speech at Stanford he said that choices do affect your life and it all makes sense when you look back, he reasons it by saying you cannot connect dots looking forward, looking backward it makes perfect sense ! 

keep on doing what you love to do and you will reach the goal.

 

I will try not to impose my idea or philosophies, frankly I don't have any ! Everyone is a philosopher everyone has his own ideas about life, I respect individual opinions but then sometimes I cant help thinking about what makes people believe that life is governed by only one rule. Daily I formulate a new rule try to apply laws of physics to abstract ideas. My mind has become like a parser, it tries to apply rules to every action and predict reaction. I know I sound confused but I am looking for answers, to questions which may sound irrational.

I wake up in morning with a timetable in my head filled with to-do list and alarm bells, life has become a program which runs on itself and I unconsciously follow its instructions. When I was a kid, I remember I used to wake up with a wish-list in my head, I always used to have a wish, to go places, to do things. And look at me me now, I have to-do lists which are eternal. It seems life is tied to the hands of clock, I no more listen to my heart beats but to the ticks of clock. For every second that passes I feel I lost a second in my life. Every morning when I look into the mirror I have a question myself, what if today was the last day in my life, would I want to do what I do today, and if answer came no for several days I know something is wrong with me (Again the inspiration is Steve Jobs, Stay Hungry Stay Foolish).

The days just go by, and everyday is just the same, go to office grab a Stabucks coffee run to class go to lab get my ass kicked by my advisor ! I come home tired, go to Rec-Center run 3 miles, come home cook food watch Seinfeld read some stuff and go to bed (trust me this is the only best part of the day !) So the question is why we run so much in life chasing a mirage, were we made for this ! 

I have no clue, no answers but only questions and more questions. When I was a kid my science teacher wanted me to ask questions, and now my professor wants me to ask the right questions ! I hope to find answers to them one day, but you know what, life is beautiful in ignorance. May be thats the reason why people like to take the 'blue pill' and live in 'The Matrix'. 

./sandeep